给力的托福写作“不”准则

　　一、不准字数不够

　　对于独立写作的字数要求，的说法是：“An effective response is typically about 300 words long. If you write fewer than 300 words，you may still receive a top score，but experience has shown that shorter responses typically do not demonstrate the development of ideas needed to earn a score of 5.”。可见，若想得到，考生 好能将文章写到300字以上，虽然有些文章字数不足但仍可得到满分，但是毕竟这种情况比较罕见，要充分对于考题展开论述，从而有利地支持文章观点，充足的字数是必须的。

　　二、不准文章模式化

　　文章的发展指的是运用例子，细节和理由来支持你在文章中所阐述的观点。朗阁海外考试研究中心分析发现，阅卷者不希望看到考生为了凑字数而过多使用一些“模式化”的单词或句子来发展文章，也不愿意看到考生过多抄袭或者沿用题目中的句子。他们会考察考生在用自己的话论述观点上的能力。比如：

　　Some people say that advertising encourage us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Yes，it is. I buyed much，because TV ads.

　　显然，这个考生除了增加几个单词外，只是完全抄袭了写作题目，而且没有关于文章话题的发展。并且出现了低级拼写错误和连词使用错误，因此属于0分的文章。我们再来看看这个例子：

　　The importance of the issue raised by the posed statement，namely creating a new holiday for people，can not be underestimated as it concerns the very fabric of society. As it stands，the issue of creating a new holiday raises profound implications for the future. However，although the subject matter in general can not be dismissed lightheartedly，the perspective of the issue as presented by the statement raises certain qualms regarding practical application.

　　这个考生虽然写了很多字，但是没有发展出任何真正的主题，这个在独立写作中都是很忌讳的事情。

　　三、不准文章逻辑不清

　　如果考生的文章是组织有序的，那么阅卷者从头看到尾也不会感到糊涂。但是朗阁海外考试研究中心在此提醒考生，文章结构的有序，并不是单纯地使用了诸如first，second之类的连词就可以达成。文章中所有的句子必须服务于你的论述主题，一旦脱离了主题，那么再精辟的连词也是徒劳的。此外，在独立写作的评分标准里提到了“unity”，“progression”，“coherence”，这就意味着考生需要将自己的观点通过合理的句型表达出来，做到统一，层层递进，连贯，以期让阅卷者能够“一目了然”文章的意图。以下我们来看一个例子：

　　In any relationship of mine，I would wish that first of all，the person I am dealing with is honest. Even though he/she thinks that he/she did something wrong that I wouldn’t like，he/she’d better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else，that’d be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore，if the person doesn’t think I can handle the truth，there is no point to continuing that relationship.

　在这个段落里，作者的语言流畅，准确，丰富，前后衔接紧密，语意连贯，句式较多变，并且使用了反问这种修辞手法，因此很好的完成了“组织”句子的目的。尽管不能说十全十美，但是这样的论述仍旧可以得到满分。与之形成鲜明对比的是：

　　The people lining up in the embassy are applying for a variety of visas. Some applicants want student visas. Other applicants want resident visas. The other applicants want tourist visas. Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirements. According to a recent survey，the largest number of applicants are applying for tourist visas. The number of people applying for student visas comes in second. Among all the applicants，only a fraction want resident visas.

　这段话的主题句显然是句，根据评分要求里对于段落一致性的要求，主题句后面的支持句都必须围绕“不同的人在大使馆里申请不同的签证”这个话题展开论述。仔细分析后我们发现上面这段话里多了一个不相干的句子：“Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirement.”，这句话虽然也在谈签证，但是它谈论的是“申请签证很困难”这个论点，这样的话和段落主题就不相同了。因此考生在写文章时，一定要做到一个段落只讲一个话题，主题句的论点必须贯穿这个段落，后面的每一个支持句都朝一个方向前进，只有这样才能写出条理分明的文章。

　　四、不准语言过于简单

　　新托福的独立写作部分要求考生的语言使用恰当，不过即便考生的词汇使用时有一些小错误，他的文章也可以得到。但是如果同时还有一些语法错误的话，那么就很难让阅卷者准确理解句子的意图，这个时候文章的得分就会比较低。另外，朗阁海外考试研究中心分析发现，若考生只是使用一些简单句和简单的词汇，那么他是无法来阐述较为复杂的问题的，而当文章的句子和单词过于简单时，得分往往不会超过3分。

　　Last month，I had a dispute with my parent. It started as a simple conversation that turned into an argument. I wanted to take a year off from school. Of course，my parents argued that I should stay in school. I tried to reason with them and I tried to persuade them that taking a year off from school and working would be valuable experience. My explanation fell on deaf ears，and they refused to let me continue the discussion. They felt I had not thoroughly examined the issue and saw no reason to debate the subject any longer.

　　这段文字里划线的几处作者想要表达“讨论”或者它的近义词，通过巧妙地变换了词汇，使整个段落不让人感到乏味。这种语言表达的方式在独立写作里是非常实用的。我们再来看看以下这个例子：

　　He is rich.

　　这个句子的问题在于rich这个形容词太含糊，他到底多有钱?从这个句子里我们无法看出。因此在独立写作中考生要尽量避免使用含糊的形容词，能够具体的尽量要具体些。比如上面的那个句子我们可以写成：

　　He owns a large company and has an annual income of 20 million dollars.